Roger almost dove for his phone once he reached the car. What followed was a quick and guilty call to his lawyer. He wanted to send him the contract and find out his thoughts before he did anything else. After that was done he called his family to see how they were doing.

His youngest son, Alex, answered. No, he hadn’t won the money. He’d tried his best and used all the tricks that his sons had tried to teach him but that wasn’t enough. Yes, he had a good time anyway.

Things at home? The same as always. Everything was fine. School was…there. The snow wasn’t good enough yet but maybe some would fall that weekend. If it did, could Alex and some of his buddies use the cabin and do some skiing?

Roger sighed. The answer was ‘no’ of course, but he hated to deny his sons anything. Maybe when you’re a little older, but not just yet, ok? Give my love to your mom.

And then the call was over. Should he have said something to Alex about the contest? The boy was creative and could probably come up with something wonderful. No, he was right to leave it until he could talk to both of his boys. And maybe his wife should know about it even earlier than that.

The guilt was still there and he knew why that was. The right answer was that he shouldn’t do this. He really didn’t spend enough time with his family and that was that. Adding some kind of ridiculous vanity project was the worst thing he could do.

He chuckled at Rex’s shot at his manhood. What more validation did he need than his two strong boys and loving wife? Roger worked hard at the important stuff. That was the true measure of a man.

Still, there was one shot that had hit home even though the shooter never intended it to. It happened when James offered to let him off the hook by being their judge. It was an honorable out. It would let him save face and still be useful. The time involved would be minimal. The job itself might be interesting.

There was only one problem. Taking the role of a judge would mean that he wasn’t in the thick of it with his friends. He wouldn’t be part of the happy circle anymore. Part of him would be an outsider. Worse, what would happen if someone tried to buy him off or took it personally if he ruled against them. Maybe being the mediator wasn’t such a hot deal after all.

Roger caught his own eye in the rear view mirror. He should just tell them that he’s too busy to play along with them. That wouldn’t be so bad. He’d still be part of the annual meeting. Hell, next year he’d be hosting it! That should be good enough.

So why wasn’t it?

Deep down inside, down past the guilt and just to the side of his desire to do the right thing, that’s where the answer lie. It was a foolish game. It was vain and expensive and it would be a time thief. But he still wanted to do it.

That was the truth and he had to face it. The game was there and he wanted to be a player. He’d already promised to talk to his family about it. When he first said it, he’d done so as a dodge, knowing that he could present it in such a way that they’d turn it down. Just lean on the time element and present it as one more thing that would keep him out late some nights. Anything that led to more missed dinners would be voted down quickly.

But what if he went the other route. He really could work with his sons on this. There was plenty of good that could come of it. Some hands on lessons on creativity and managing large projects. Roger suspected that a clear view of what it took to make one large scale construction site tick would give a better education than four years of business school.

Maybe that was the note to hit. Or he could present it as a history project. Something that would connect his boys to the past and the larger world in ways that ordinary classes just couldn’t. Throw in some art appreciation and there was a very real benefit to be gained. By this time he half believed it. The trick was to sell it to the boys. Once they were on board, his wife would follow.

Roger boarded his plane and started rehearsing arguments in his head.